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:iconyourpandabear82: More from YourPandabear82

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April 24, 2012
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Today I died and I never got to tell my parents how much I love them, how glad I am that I was theirs.

Today I died and I never got to tell my best friend I am sorry for everything I've put him through.

Today I died and I never got to tell my boyfriend that I want us to be the cute old couple walking down the street holding hands.

Today I died and I never got to tell my future children how much I love them.

Today I died and I never got to say goodbye.

If I had survived for ten minutes longer it may have been the most painful ten minutes of my life, but I beg to have them. The pain is nothing in comparison to the agony of not saying everything I should've said.

Mom, I love going to bingo with you during the week. You have the biggest heart, a generous soul, and a loving nature. Life hasn't been easy for you, and I know I sometimes I ignore that. I'm so sorry Mom. You've given me such a warm and caring upbringing that it's hard for me to remember that you had to do without when you were growing up. If I could have one more day with you, I would do anything you asked. I'd never roll my eyes, not even once.

You're the best cook in the world, and I love your hugs. Mom, you mean so much to me. I would give anything to be your little girl, to hug you while you're cooking, to sneak to McDonald's after 10 with you just one more time.

Dad, you've given me the tools I need to succeed. I know I like to make fun of you when you talk about another one of your hobbies, but the truth is your drive to learn new things, to accomplish new things has always inspired me. When I was little, I always wanted to be just like you. Now I'll never be able to. I'm sorry this happened like this Daddy.

Alex, you were the kind of best friend that Anne Frank wished for when she wrote to her diary. I was lucky to know you, so much more so to be able to call you my best friend. There have been more than a few moments when things have been strained between us. Most people had trouble being around me when I was in my severe downturns, but you always had to deal with the worst of it. I'm sorry, so so sorry. If I could change it, somehow go back and make our friendship easier on you, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But it looks like I don't have any left to spare at the moment.

I cannot tell you how much you have changed my life Alex, how much you made me a better person. I would never have known how to stand up for myself, or how to say 'no' to people. You have taught me how to be independent and be brave.

In times of trouble, you have always been there for me. I know I promised that I would do the same if you should ever need me. My phone was always going to be open to you. Now my phone is going to be silent, and I'm sorry. I pray you find someone else you can talk with so openly, who can help you like I have.

I hope you find that special girl you've been looking for, and that she makes you happy.

Dominic, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Te adoro. Je t'aime. You are the sweetest boy I have ever known. Kind and caring, I can trust you with anything. You may never know how much I appreciate all that you have put up with from me, but know that your patience and understanding you have given me are some of the most precious gifts I have ever received.

Even more than those, though, I have cherished your love. You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to watch you become a doctor, want to have children and raise them with you, want to hold your hand as we travel in our retirement.

Now we'll never have that home in the English countryside with the huge garden, and the window seat, and the fire place with the huge couches. We'll never read aloud to each other while we cuddle. We'll never have that honeymoon in Paris.

I am sorry I left without saying goodbye.

These past four months have been the happiest of my life, and I am thankful I have gotten this time with you. You truly are a wonderful, amazing guy. Thank you for the time you and I shared, the time in which you made me the happiest girl alive. I like you. I love you. There are no words for how much this time has meant to me.

I hope you find someone who can make you as happy as you made me. Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you in their life. Please remember that always.

I love you. Sweet dreamlands.

To all of you, I'm sorry I left like this. I thought there'd be more time for us. There's still so much I want to say to each and every one of you. But I have to go, it's getting darker now. I can't hold on any longer. Don't worry about me, I'm not too scared. Death isn't what frightens me.


I love you.
Today in school we had an assembly where several students (and their parents) read letters. The students' letters started "Today I died and I never got to tell you..." and the parents' letters started "Today you died and I never got to tell you..."

I started crying during the first letter, and couldn't stop. There was a certain boy I knew who I never thought I'd see cry, but he read his letter and cried the whole time. It was one of the most powerful thing I've ever seen.

This isn't the most amazing of my writing, but I needed to get this up. I was very moved by the assembly today.

Any comments are appreciated. I may post specific things later. For now, I'm just going to post.
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ShadAlex1011 Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I wish my school could have an assembly like that so all the boneheads won't laugh every time something bad happens to another person. Like a dudes dad passed away during they year and they didn't care. I wished there parents had died to see how it felt an to be laugh at but that's to mean. I just wish they could be serious when it needs to be serious.
CassieCros13 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Writer
I honestly wish my school would have an assembly like yours...there have been some local suicides recently that could have very well been prevented. This was very touching.
theedgerocks13 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow that's awesome! ^^ I'm actually doing a series called, "Today I Died." it's a ficonal thing that i'm doing about different people, telling their loved one what they wantd to say before they go to their destination, heaven or hell. I'm acutally putting a second one together now! ^^
YourPandabear82 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student General Artist
That's really awesome! I'll have to check it out. It's a really inspiring idea, I think. It takes the idea of death to truly show who someone is, what's truly important to a person.

Is part of your series up now, or is it in the works?
theedgerocks13 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
There's my first try up right now, and i'm working on the other part right now and going to submit it in a lil bit.
YourPandabear82 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student General Artist
I look forward to reading more. :aww:
theedgerocks13 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
^^ already have the part up! ^^
zara-a-tryste Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Student Writer
This is absolutely amazing. You've got an incredible writing style yourself :)
YourPandabear82 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Student General Artist
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. :aww:
zara-a-tryste Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012  Student Writer
No problem at all.
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