Today I died and I never got to tell my parents how much I love them, how glad I am that I was theirs.
Today I died and I never got to tell my best friend I am sorry for everything I've put him through.
Today I died and I never got to tell my boyfriend that I want us to be the cute old couple walking down the street holding hands.
Today I died and I never got to tell my future children how much I love them.
Today I died and I never got to say goodbye.
If I had survived for ten minutes longer it may have been the most painful ten minutes of my life, but I beg to have them. The pain is nothing in comparison to the agony of not saying everything I should've said.
Mom, I love going to bingo with you during the week. You have the biggest heart, a generous soul, and a loving nature. Life hasn't been easy for you, and I know I sometimes I ignore that. I'm so sorry Mom. You've given me such a warm and caring upbringing that it's hard for me to remember that you had to do without when you were growing up. If I could have one more day with you, I would do anything you asked. I'd never roll my eyes, not even once.
You're the best cook in the world, and I love your hugs. Mom, you mean so much to me. I would give anything to be your little girl, to hug you while you're cooking, to sneak to McDonald's after 10 with you just one more time.
Dad, you've given me the tools I need to succeed. I know I like to make fun of you when you talk about another one of your hobbies, but the truth is your drive to learn new things, to accomplish new things has always inspired me. When I was little, I always wanted to be just like you. Now I'll never be able to. I'm sorry this happened like this Daddy.
Alex, you were the kind of best friend that Anne Frank wished for when she wrote to her diary. I was lucky to know you, so much more so to be able to call you my best friend. There have been more than a few moments when things have been strained between us. Most people had trouble being around me when I was in my severe downturns, but you always had to deal with the worst of it. I'm sorry, so so sorry. If I could change it, somehow go back and make our friendship easier on you, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But it looks like I don't have any left to spare at the moment.
I cannot tell you how much you have changed my life Alex, how much you made me a better person. I would never have known how to stand up for myself, or how to say 'no' to people. You have taught me how to be independent and be brave.
In times of trouble, you have always been there for me. I know I promised that I would do the same if you should ever need me. My phone was always going to be open to you. Now my phone is going to be silent, and I'm sorry. I pray you find someone else you can talk with so openly, who can help you like I have.
I hope you find that special girl you've been looking for, and that she makes you happy.
Dominic, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Te adoro. Je t'aime. You are the sweetest boy I have ever known. Kind and caring, I can trust you with anything. You may never know how much I appreciate all that you have put up with from me, but know that your patience and understanding you have given me are some of the most precious gifts I have ever received.
Even more than those, though, I have cherished your love. You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to watch you become a doctor, want to have children and raise them with you, want to hold your hand as we travel in our retirement.
Now we'll never have that home in the English countryside with the huge garden, and the window seat, and the fire place with the huge couches. We'll never read aloud to each other while we cuddle. We'll never have that honeymoon in Paris.
I am sorry I left without saying goodbye.
These past four months have been the happiest of my life, and I am thankful I have gotten this time with you. You truly are a wonderful, amazing guy. Thank you for the time you and I shared, the time in which you made me the happiest girl alive. I like you. I love you. There are no words for how much this time has meant to me.
I hope you find someone who can make you as happy as you made me. Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you in their life. Please remember that always.
I love you. Sweet dreamlands.
To all of you, I'm sorry I left like this. I thought there'd be more time for us. There's still so much I want to say to each and every one of you. But I have to go, it's getting darker now. I can't hold on any longer. Don't worry about me, I'm not too scared. Death isn't what frightens me.
I love you.